{headache}

so, i'm working part-time for this company that's trying to be the best company, like, ever or something. but i keep wondering how they are going to do this when they keep their employees at part time, where they have to work a second job to support themselves. how is this part of a philosophy that claims to value your employee & customer?

and, my glasses broke.

and, i'm broke.

and, i want a permanant job.

and a fucking response email, bastard. because i deserve it. asshole.

life, or lack thereof

i'd say i watched about five episodes of dharma & greg and maybe three of that 70's show. on top of that, i watched most of sky high and bridget jones: edge of reason. but that beats watching the last half of the new version of the parent trap. so that's my life right now. watching televsion and not making any progress on anything that i'll remember in 5 years.

though i am planning on drinking this weekend. hell yeah!? whatev is more like it.

that's not the way the song goes.

ok,
i hope you don't hate me.
i just wanted to say hi.
Hi.

*****

okay
of course i don't hate you
though i wish i did

did you really just want to say hi?
certain things i'll struggle to understand too.

damn it.
i think you were wrong.
i wish you thought the same way
and i wish you would say so.
but i never want to convince you so.
why can't you just know?

and why can't you get over yourself
you're not perfect.
so what?
i don't care
neither am i.

and we wouldn't be perfect,
but it would be okay.
or at least we should have the chance to try & make it okay.

it was hard, right?
and there were strange times.
it would still be hard.
and there would be stranger, badder times.
but you gave up.
gave up on everything.
and everyone.

do you really think that you really want to be alone.
forever.
or was that a nice little lie
to make me feel better?
(it wouldn't work)

i believe
that it's what you believe
but i can't believe
that it's true.

i loved talking to you
i was able to be more honest with you
than i've ever been before.
and now. i suppose
"not so much"
is an understatement.

i wish you would pick up the phone
and call me.
but you don't have my number
you don't have a phone.

i'd tell you how
now i better understand your
complete lack of physical belongings
but you aren't a monk
though you try so hard.

and even monks spring
for a bed.
and a table.
and heat.

i enjoyed being your heat.
and you being mine.

or maybe all i'd say
is good night.

and the silence would kill me
as it did
the last time we spoke
face to face.

good night.

cycle down

goin to k-ville for the weekend! get some josh time in. hamdulillah.

b.o.

I'd just like to state, for the record, that's not the way the song goes.

what difference would it make, if i hated you or not? what exactly does that change? nothing. so why does it matter? and anyway, it's not from lack of desiring to hate you that i don't. because i wish i did. but i can't.

besides. that's still not the way the song goes.

NEWEST PLAN EVAR!

1. get job
2. save money
3. go to yemen
4. return from yemen
   
5. go to grad school for middle eastern studies
6. get kick-ass middle eastern job.
   

complain-0-log

today kinda sucked.
my button on my pants fell off
i had a bad interview
the latch on my pants broke
and i have bad credit.

"shakira, shakira"

So, my life consists of watching tv and searching the internet for jobs. actually applying for them is something else. though i did go running today, which was good.

oh yeah, my hips don't lie.