what now?

i've been really self-absorbed today. I really wanted to run away. Oregon, here I come. WTF, mate? I have two months left here and no desire to finish them. I'm exhausted. I don't need this extra emotional shit that I keep getting myself into. Just leave it all behind. Leave the shit. Leave the stress. Leave the amazing people I know. I doubt it would be worth it. I know some really fucking amazing people, but sometimes. sometimes it just seems like the shit is too much.

I was feeling guilty. Feeling guilty about things that i should not feel guilty about. things that were not my fault. it wasn't my fault! i didn't ask for that. i didn't want it. and i should have told you sooner. but i didn't. and now i feel guilty about that. almost lying, in a way. you can't read my mind. and i, obviously can't read yours. i'm working on the communication, as long as you are.