dana-hat : the unit vector

2006-10-02T22:10:00.000-05:00

so i'm at home, and all of this stuff is happening around me and to friends and family. and i'm kinda cut off but feeling the stress of it anyway.

fair isle firsts.

2006-08-30T14:45:00.000-05:00

fair isle firsts.
Originally uploaded by danaisanevilchip.

my first attempt at fair isle, inspired by the bright colors at the place which must not be made...

better.

2006-08-26T00:18:00.000-05:00

if i kiss you where it's sore.
if i kiss you where it's sore,
will you feel better, better better?
will you feel anything at all?

(i heart regina spektor)

and after a very long time, i finished The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie. wow. just amazing.

seen in des moines

2006-08-23T10:47:00.000-05:00

"Catholic Education: Where Christ is the principle" too bad it wasn't "where (buddy) Christ is the princip(a)le." that's too great of a pun to be on a serious billboard.

tomorrow.

2006-08-17T17:21:00.000-05:00

i have an interview tomorrow. here's to hoping it goes well. yay. the major plus is, it's in a different city, where i have friends. yay!

change of plans.

2006-08-09T20:31:00.000-05:00

so, uh. the road trip plans fell through. i guess i kind of expected that. damn depending on other people! too bad they just make everything a bit more fun and (as far as road trips go) cheap.

So, instead I'm off to my first day in the temp office placement. i hope it doesn't suck. :)

planning...

2006-07-16T18:51:00.000-05:00

So, I was thinking about road tripping out west without actually thinking that it would happen, and i mentioned it to a friend, who was all about it. So, as long as we can find a third person to go (to help offset the costs of gas) i'm headed out west in august. West-er than i've ever been.

IA-(IL)-IN-(IL)-MO-(KS)-CO-(WY)-UT-NV-AZ-(NM)-(KS)-MO-(IL)-IN. States in () are drive-through only.

So, i'm doing most of the planning, but I've never really been on a road trip before, so I'm not sure how much driving in one day i can take, but i'm still planning. I've also never camped out before, but I'm planning on planning that too, because it's just so much cheaper than a hotel.

so yeah. i'm excited and a little nervous. wanna be the third?

reading!

2006-07-04T01:09:00.000-05:00

finished Mikhail Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita. damn straight.

{headache}

2006-06-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

so, i'm working part-time for this company that's trying to be the best company, like, ever or something. but i keep wondering how they are going to do this when they keep their employees at part time, where they have to work a second job to support themselves. how is this part of a philosophy that claims to value your employee & customer?

and, my glasses broke.

and, i'm broke.

and, i want a permanant job.

and a fucking response email, bastard. because i deserve it. asshole.

life, or lack thereof

2006-06-15T23:45:00.000-05:00

i'd say i watched about five episodes of dharma & greg and maybe three of that 70's show. on top of that, i watched most of sky high and bridget jones: edge of reason. but that beats watching the last half of the new version of the parent trap. so that's my life right now. watching televsion and not making any progress on anything that i'll remember in 5 years.

though i am planning on drinking this weekend. hell yeah!? whatev is more like it.

that's not the way the song goes.

2006-06-12T22:34:00.000-05:00

ok,
i hope you don't hate me.
i just wanted to say hi.
Hi.

*****

okay
of course i don't hate you
though i wish i did

did you really just want to say hi?
certain things i'll struggle to understand too.

damn it.
i think you were wrong.
i wish you thought the same way
and i wish you would say so.
but i never want to convince you so.
why can't you just know?

and why can't you get over yourself
you're not perfect.
so what?
i don't care
neither am i.

and we wouldn't be perfect,
but it would be okay.
or at least we should have the chance to try & make it okay.

it was hard, right?
and there were strange times.
it would still be hard.
and there would be stranger, badder times.
but you gave up.
gave up on everything.
and everyone.

do you really think that you really want to be alone.
forever.
or was that a nice little lie
to make me feel better?
(it wouldn't work)

i believe
that it's what you believe
but i can't believe
that it's true.

i loved talking to you
i was able to be more honest with you
than i've ever been before.
and now. i suppose
"not so much"
is an understatement.

i wish you would pick up the phone
and call me.
but you don't have my number
you don't have a phone.

i'd tell you how
now i better understand your
complete lack of physical belongings
but you aren't a monk
though you try so hard.

and even monks spring
for a bed.
and a table.
and heat.

i enjoyed being your heat.
and you being mine.

or maybe all i'd say
is good night.

and the silence would kill me
as it did
the last time we spoke
face to face.

good night.

cycle down

2006-06-09T18:11:00.000-05:00

goin to k-ville for the weekend! get some josh time in. hamdulillah.

b.o.

2006-06-09T00:54:00.000-05:00

I'd just like to state, for the record, that's not the way the song goes.

what difference would it make, if i hated you or not? what exactly does that change? nothing. so why does it matter? and anyway, it's not from lack of desiring to hate you that i don't. because i wish i did. but i can't.

besides. that's still not the way the song goes.

NEWEST PLAN EVAR!

2006-06-05T23:51:00.000-05:00

get job
save money
go to yemen
return from yemen
go to grad school for middle eastern studies
get kick-ass middle eastern job.

complain-0-log

2006-06-03T00:52:00.000-05:00

today kinda sucked.
my button on my pants fell off
i had a bad interview
the latch on my pants broke
and i have bad credit.

"shakira, shakira"

2006-06-01T23:51:00.000-05:00

So, my life consists of watching tv and searching the internet for jobs. actually applying for them is something else. though i did go running today, which was good.

oh yeah, my hips don't lie.

failure

2006-05-19T22:53:00.000-05:00

God damn. sometimes i just hate myself. i have a bs in math and a ba in religion and i'm applying at retail jobs. target, borders, old navy. yeah, dana. you're living with you're sister. you suck at life, basically.

i'm going home for the week. that may totally suck, as well.

since a week ago...

2006-05-18T22:16:00.000-05:00

1, check
5, check
6, check
working on 4 & 3.
by accomplishing 3, i hope not to need 2.
7 will come on it's own, i suppose.

2006-05-17T22:33:00.000-05:00

So I had this dream that I went back to morocco. It was strange.

now what?

2006-05-16T11:00:00.000-05:00

yay graduation & moving. been here for a couple of days & most of my stuff is in my car still. i need to find a job. job job job. rah!

you know what i need?

2006-05-11T20:21:00.000-05:00

to get fucking plastered,
to give god this goddamned nose back,
to get out of this country for a while,
a job,
packing boxes,
to stop picking at this thing in my mouth,
a cowboy.

no woman, no cry.

2006-05-07T01:17:00.000-05:00

Three years ago, I was graduating from the Academy. I was taking a world religions class for the May intrem course and knitting scarves for a community service project. It was a strange time. I knew which college I was going to attend in the fall, I was going to major in Math, minor in Philosophy/Religioin. I was going to be a math professor. I was going to be a math professor.

I had just recently started to listen to Bob Marley. I had also just realized that what I believed about god and the world did not match up with Christianity. I guess I could say "I had recently stopped being Christian," but that was not the process at all. I was sitting alone, knitting for the service project and listening to Bob Marley and thinking. And suddenly it hit me. I did not believe Jesus loves me. Simple as that. and as complicated as that.

Three years later and attending an Episcopal church (that whole two years in the liminal state, so true) I still don't know what to think about Jesus, but I love the service. I am graduating with a mathematics degree, but also a philosophy/religion degree as well. I am not going to be a math professor. I am not going to be a math professor. Though I am thinking about graduate school in Middle Eastern Studies. And I'm listening to Bob Marley again.

Bob Marley is good for the soul.

good friends we have
oh, good friends we've lost
along the way
in this bright future
you can't forget your past
so dry your tears, i say

I don't know what's going to happen in the next three years. Maybe I'll be writing again about my MA. or maybe I'll be working in a bookstore. or maybe i'll be living in the middle east. I don't know. But I'm excited to find out. This is one bright future.

random thoughts

2006-05-06T20:42:00.000-05:00

I kinda feel like i should be documenting more the last weeks of my college career, but i don't really have that much to say.

Graduation is in one week. I haven't bought my cap & gown yet. i never got invitations. But I did finish my capstone thursday. God damn, I hope I get a B on it. I did work. Maybe not A-hard, but surely a B. (please, please!) And I got my paper for Religion in America. A! Which means I'm doubling my midterm grade and taking my B. And my third test in Symbolic. I kinda thought I may have fucked up the essays, but nope! I got an 8- (out of 8) so, I just need to do the presentation and post-writing (which may be pre-writing for me).

I really should write a cover letter for my senior seminar in Mathematics. I have a linguistics final, but I'm taking that class pass/fail, so I just need to pass.

I'm looking forward to graduation, though I'm not sure what i'm going to do afterwards. I mean, living with my sister but I don't have a job lined up. Honestly I'd like to work in a bookstore for a little while. I mean, that's not my life goal, but it would be a nice job to have for the summer if I really do go to Lebanon in the Fall.

2006-05-04T10:43:00.000-05:00

"so let it be written, so let it be submitted, so let it be done."~ sehne tpai

I submitted my capstone at 6:30 this morning. granted it was due tuesday, taken until wednesday morning with no penalty, so i'm hoping for only one day's penalty. But it's done. or i suppose as done as it ever will be. Al-Hamdulilla! I hope it's good enough. I got a notice from the library for an overdue book that i was using on the paper, and i'm kinda scared to turn it in, because that will be so much the end. and damn. i'm kinda attached to this project.

I still have quite a bit to do before the semester's done, but it is doable.

i need some good advice

2006-04-30T22:47:00.000-05:00

no. what i need is to take my own advice because i know it's good. but i wish someone would just say it.

i celebrated laundry day for the first time in like 3 weeks.

about that long ago i bought some fun dip while i was visiting a friend. later i was at home and started eating it. but it was so large, i ended up setting it on my desk. of course it spilled. and of course later i spilled water. and so i ended up cleaning off this hard dried up sugar/water combo off my desk today. that's productive for me. screw the two papers due on tuesday. i don't need to do that shit... fuck.

i also applied for study abroad in lebanon this fall. (reading consular sheets now)

darn.shoot.frick.

2006-04-27T23:48:00.000-05:00

it's been two and a half weeks, and i think that i'm just now realizing that i'm better than that shit. maybe i'm a little slow, but i'm working on it. the thing is, i know he's better than what he's doing too. but he doesn't believe it. and i can't do anything about it unless he wants to. and right now he's not communicating with me. so whatever. i need to just concentrate on graduating. i have a shit ton to do before graduation.

capstone final draft
religion in america paper
religion in america takehome paper final
symbolic presentation & write up
symbolic test 3
linguistics final

damn.shit.fuck. i don't need these frustrations. boys, cars & classes, damn them all.

2006-04-24T17:03:00.000-05:00

god damn, i need to do something productive. like right this minute. i think i forgot how.

rawr.

2006-04-19T00:37:00.000-05:00

i need to go to sleep. i have a pt test at 5:30 tomorrow morning. or this morning. well, now that i think about it, the blog is still on morocco time, so it's actually 12:30 right now.

I don't know who i'm walking with at graduation. i don't even know if i'm walking for my BA or BS. i haven't decided. I haven't ordered invitations. and i mostly don't care.

i do know what i care about right now and it's not what i want to care about so BOO.

new post-graduation plans. live with sister & get summer job. then go to lebanon for the fall semester. mmm arabic & the middle east.

step by step instructions.

2006-04-15T23:51:00.000-05:00

okay, here's what you need to do.

put on some clothes already
leave your house
go to your local bookstore (by car, foot, subway, bike whatever)
buy The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
go back to your house
sit down
read The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
take a break to awe in The Prophet's magnificence
begin re-reading The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
repeat steps 8 and 9 as often as needed

Classification of mathematical problems as linear and nonlinear is like classification of the Universe as bananas and non-bananas.

2006-04-12T17:08:00.000-05:00

"the trick is to keep breathing"

so, so true. i'm on this fucking emotional rollercoaster. i shouldn't be this upset, i mean, god damn. we only "dated" for two months, and that's only if you're generous.

Tuesday I wake up fine & happy, good. laughing, hanging with friends, looking forward to the future. Tuesday evening & I feel like crying. Wendesday, bad morning, beautiful day, walking to park with friends, back in room & feel like crying. need to lead meeting for MAA, finding math jokes -- can i get through the meeting? i can do this.

i can do this. what the fuck is wrong with me. thinking of UCS. no. don't want to talk to them. don't want to talk. can't form sentences.

will be okay. swear to motherfuckingod. i will be okay. i'm just workin on it now.

update

2006-04-11T10:36:00.000-05:00

GRE = taken.
GRE scores = better than i expected.
so there's something good, i suppose.
thinking about going to lebanon ...

great.

2006-04-09T22:09:00.000-05:00

so, now that my broked elbow is healing, i'm just broked up with.

2006-04-07T00:32:00.000-05:00

i have a six hour test on saturday morning.

everybody has their off days...

2006-03-30T14:29:00.000-06:00

So today in my religion in america class we were talking about holiness traditions at the turn of the century. He said something that I, having grown up in a holiness church, did not fully agree with so I spoke up and he asked what denomination I came from. Nazarene, Weslean. After class we were talking for a minute and he asked if I attened the Nazarene church here...

Not a big deal, you might say? Well, no, except that I've been going to the Episcopal Church. The same church he goes to. He has seen me there. His wife is going through ordination. She took me and my friend out to dinner. He commented on that to me. Last class period, he mentioned "maybe i should have worn what I wore to church last Sunday" to me. (he was the acolyte.)

So yeah.... I don't go to the Nazarene Church up here...

summer plans

2006-03-29T14:28:00.000-06:00

so i'm thinking that instead of moving in with my sister after graduation and looking for a job, i'm just gonna fly over to europe and chill out over there. take some skirts and some button down shirts and all the books i've wanted to read during college. and a really thin towel. and a cd player. because damn. i'm gonna buy a lot of cds. leave the computer. take the camera.

once i realize i'm running out of money, i'll book a flight back from wherever i am to somewhere in the states and make it home from there. or maybe i'll make home somewhere else.

i will not start a facebook for my lion. that would be wrong. very very wrong.

2006-03-29T00:07:00.000-06:00

I should be working on my Capstone, but instead I'm finding any excuse to sit here and look at the unopened books lying next to me. This procrastination goes so far as to actually write here when what i'm trying to avoid is actually writing itself. go figure, really. (please, kill me now)

internal dialogue

2006-03-24T08:46:00.000-06:00

irrational(I): Wake up! Wake up!
rational(R): Why?
I: It's 8 am! Wake up!
R: I know it's 8 am, my alarm is set to go off in 50 min. Why should I get up now?
I: Wake up! He may have emailed you.
R: No, no he didn't. any anyway, even if he had, it could wait until 8:50.
I: NOOOOOOOOO!! No, it totally can't wait. He may have emailed you! He may even be there RIGHT NOW!
R: He's at work, working! Let me go the fuck back to sleep.
I: Hahaha. You said "fuck." wake up damn it!.
R: If I do this, will you leave me alone?
I: YES! Yes, I promise. I will totally leave you alone and let you go back to sleep. It'll only take half a minute i swear.
R: *rolls over, turns on computer, waits.... checks email* see, nothing. leave me alone
I: (five minutes later) : Wake up!
R: You Promised!

what now?

2006-03-22T01:24:00.000-06:00

i've been really self-absorbed today. I really wanted to run away. Oregon, here I come. WTF, mate? I have two months left here and no desire to finish them. I'm exhausted. I don't need this extra emotional shit that I keep getting myself into. Just leave it all behind. Leave the shit. Leave the stress. Leave the amazing people I know. I doubt it would be worth it. I know some really fucking amazing people, but sometimes. sometimes it just seems like the shit is too much.

I was feeling guilty. Feeling guilty about things that i should not feel guilty about. things that were not my fault. it wasn't my fault! i didn't ask for that. i didn't want it. and i should have told you sooner. but i didn't. and now i feel guilty about that. almost lying, in a way. you can't read my mind. and i, obviously can't read yours. i'm working on the communication, as long as you are.

so, i don't know what i'm doing.

2006-03-20T17:53:00.000-06:00

we all make mistakes, but i don't know if this is a mistake or something beautiful. spring break had it's ups and downs. this past weekend was really hard. really really hard. and now i'm confused. confused and not particularly happy. though i feel like i should be. and i feel like i shouldn't be as well.

title of the song.

2006-03-09T13:31:00.000-06:00

So, i'm doing pretty well right now and i'm registered for the fswe in april. psyched. really. to both the being well and psyched. (which i totally do NOT keep trying to type spyched.)

need to make it through today and tomorrow. five nights alone, five nights of lion. which the way his job is working out may actually just be nights. damn jobs.

anyway. i'm ready to get the hell out of here and have time to work on my capstone.

the end.

[???]

2006-03-06T12:41:00.000-06:00

i wish i had a reason for feeling so bad. why can't i just be sick or something. i'll pop some pills, just make this go away.

where...

2006-03-03T11:43:00.000-06:00

to start? where would you start? maybe somewhere besides the beginning...

religion in america.

2006-02-28T11:29:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I miss my "holiness" tradition. and i don't mean this mansy-pansy

holiness, holiness, is what i long for
holiness is what i need
holiness, holiness is what you want from me

crap. i mean

lord as of old at pentecost
thou didst thy power display
with cleansing purifying flame
descend on us today

lord, send the old time pow'r, the pentecostal pow'r
thy floodgates of blessing, on us throw open wide
lord, send they old time pow'r, the pentecostal pow'r
that sinners be converted and thy name glorified!

mumkin, andi habib.

2006-02-27T11:40:00.000-06:00

what a weekend. what a strange, awkward and wonderful weekend.

vicodin withdrawls involve severe depression.

2006-02-22T15:55:00.000-06:00

So, you know you want to see my sweet sweet bruises. Seriously, my arm is yellow, green and purple

lightheaded.

2006-02-19T01:01:00.000-06:00

It has been a rough day. I spent a lot of time with my psp brothers, whom I do love. But I've been down the past few days. Not being able to pull my hair back or think straight has been wreaking havoc on my emotions. So I had a little breakdown and skipped out on the ceremony and watched "The Laramie Project" with some hall friends, which, ironically, made me feel better. Anyway, i think it's time for sleep.

grand events!

2006-02-16T18:39:00.000-06:00

so today i fell on the ice and displaced my elbow. yay midweek ER trips.

the end-all.

2006-02-14T18:11:00.000-06:00

Boys are stupid.

out of my hands.

2006-02-09T00:23:00.000-06:00

So I wrote a letter. I put a stamp on an envelope addressed to you from me containing that letter. I put that envelope in the mail.

sleep & tired

2006-02-05T19:32:00.000-06:00

So, I left town for the weekend. It was good. and bad. I basically slept all weekend and now, i'm tired, but don't want to try to sleep. I'm really not too sure how to feel about it. but what's done is done. the cow's on the roof. so be it. and don't watch underworld : evolutions. I don't really feel that needed to be said, because it should be self-obvious, but just in case.

who are you?

2006-02-01T00:04:00.000-06:00

I feel like I'm missing something. When I hear people talk about math, about their love of math, I know I'm missing something. I had it. I had that once. But now, it's gone. And I'm slightly less of a person. Less than the person I once was.

What a tipsy balance between what we were, what we are, and what we want to become.

I'm pretty sure I'll be okay.

2006-01-30T19:41:00.000-06:00

sally's xanga is all about not knowing. "I hate not knowing" But I don't know. Not knowing could be worse. I'd rather not know right now that after graduation i'm going to starve/freeze to death come wintertimes. But right now, even though I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing or how I'll be living, I can rest pretty confident that I'll be okay.

road trip

2006-01-27T23:10:00.000-06:00

Today a couple of friends & I went on a road trip. to iowa. to Target. and now, after such a great time, Josh just sprayed me with a water bottle. That bastard.

yeah. like this is going to work.

2006-01-27T00:25:00.000-06:00

I'm trying out journaling.

hey hey good lookin'

2006-01-24T23:46:00.000-06:00

Thanks for your comments, you guys.

Okay, so honestly. I'm feeling a little better this evening because the pressure of the paper prospectus is gone. I finished writing the damned thing at 4 am. turned it in at 9 am. Talking about the project went a lot better than writing about it and I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or not.

I'm pretty sure it's a solid topic to do research in but I just hope I can pull it off. I <3 Islam (uhibhu). Well, as much as a non-muslim can.

okay. it's late. i'm tired. meeting with UCS tomorrow. i'm safe and good. i promise.

something happier.

2006-01-23T23:52:00.000-06:00

I stole this from Elle.

1. Your name spelled backwards.
Anad.

2. Last incoming call on your phone.
I’m pretty sure it was about an international student. or for my roommate. whatever.

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
“Grim News (But Happy)” The Grim Hall newsletter

4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
Great Wall. mmm delivery Chinese food (General Tso’s!)

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
Last semester for Mil Sci.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Yes. Arsinic and old lace. I was darn crappy.

7. 2 or 3?
3 because 2 is just strange.

8. Type of music you dislike most?
I can listen to almost anything. I have an incredibly high tolerance. But yet, I’m really picky to what I actually want to listen to that varies by whim according to my mood. so basically, I have no idea.

9. Do you have cable?
The dorm has cable. So I end up watching too much Judging Amy.

10. Have you ever ridden on a 4 wheeler?
No.

11. Have you ever made a prank phone call?
I think a friend did from my phone. does that count?

12. Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
some people are thick. that’s all.

13. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving?
Bungee jumping, maybe.

14. Farthest place you ever traveled?
uh. Morocco.

15. Do you have a garden?
No and no thank you!

16. What’s your favorite comic strip?
The Academy @ theacademy.keenspace.com

17. Do you read a newspaper every day?
No. I try to check the bbc online and occasionally others as well.

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
First verse only. (amen)

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
shower, generally in the middle of the day.

20. Best movie(s) you’ve seen in the past month?
I don’t know if I’ve seen a movie in the past month. But, I’ll put a plug in for Osama here. Watch it, damn it!

21. Favorite pizza toppings?
pepperoni and mushroom (unless you’re in morocco, then cheese, mushrooms and corn. dead serious, people)

22. Chips or popcorn?
popcorn

23. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
WTF, mate?

24. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
no. hamdulilla.

25. Orange Juice or Apple Juice?
Orange.

26. Who were the last people you went out to lunch or dinner with?
the ‘men. the fresh-men. Grimmie freshmen rock.

27. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Reese’s cups. I don’t care if you don’t count them as “chocolate bar” because you’re stupid.

28. When’s the last time you voted at the polls?
2004. presidential elections.

29. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
I didn’t like tomatoes when I had them homegrown. So I don’t think I’ve ever had one.

30. Have you ever won a trophy?
Sure, I jumped a bunch in pre-school and got one. I don’t know… something about a rabit.

31. Are you a good cook?
Hells no. I convinced a friend to help me learn this semester. I’m bribing her with my final results. good thing she likes to cook.

32. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
uh. duh.

33. Sprite or 7-Up?
sprite. (and I’d say vodka. mmm future alcoholics)

34. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
I had to wear a red polo and khaki pants at the grocery store. Though I kinda like the idea of uniforms.

35. Last thing you ate?
Dr. Pepper & ice cream.

36. Ever thrown up in public?
I haven’t thrown up since fifth grade. thankyouverymuch! but yeah. that time, it was at school. in the lunchline. and the cottage cheese I had eaten for breakfast.

37. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
true love.

38. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I agree with Elle. Could happen, but I don’t see it happening with me. I, myself, am too thick for that. I need to know people really well before I can even think about crushes.

39. Can ex’s be just friends?
Hell if I know.

40. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I don’t remember. maybe my grandfather? but that was a VERY long time a go. Possibly Steve, but that would have been at the academy (say four years ago)

41. Did you have long hair as a young kid?
of course! (of course, I still do)

42. What messages are in your voice mail?
I have one. I never delete voice mail. they delete themselves after a while. this one’s from Sunday. about international students.

43. Where would you like to go right now?
the middle east. Colorado. new york. boston. Moscow. beiruit. Dubai. wherever.

44. What was the name of your first pet?
Kayto.

45. What kind of bag do you have, and what's in it?
Timbuck2. school stuff.

46. What was the last thing you drank?
Dr. Pepper.

47. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
it didn’t suck as bad as yesterday.

48. What do you think about most?
senior sem and a stupid boy.

49. What is your new years resolution?
I don’t know. I don’t care.

i may be falling apart.

2006-01-23T11:56:00.000-06:00

It started yesterday. In the morning.

... Well, it may have started before then. It's the second week of class and I'm stressed out beyond all reasoning. I can't concentrate on school. I have a huge project that I'm working on all semester. I just can't get started on it. I can't get into it. Every time I begin to read for it, I freeze up. Of course, I blame it on other people distracting me. But honestly, I wouldn't be able to read if i were alone.

It's the second week of school, and I want to skip class.

I'd say I had an anxiety attack yesterday, but I still have this thing where I just don't think I have it that bad. I know I don't. My life is fairly easy. I may be depressed. But this is just unreal.

I must just be fine.

i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.

2006-01-12T12:52:00.000-06:00

these words are my own.... i love you i love you i love you i love you! (wait a second... did she just say hyperbole? it's hyperbole. oh, you know the difference between wrong and right, repsectively)

i don't know if i can like this song anymore. but damn, it's catchy... i love you!

cities

2006-01-11T19:46:00.000-06:00

Marrakesh and New York are actually very similar, except Marrakesh has more cycles, probably due to New York's subway system and the people are nicer, probably because they realize that they need tourism money to survive. Also, what New York has in height Marrakesh makes up for in closeness together.

fyi

2006-01-07T17:40:00.000-06:00

i'm well & good in ny, ny.

iTunes top 25

2005-12-30T23:28:00.000-06:00

taken from Elle, a list of the 25 most played songs on my iTunes.

1. Alles Fur Den Herrn ~Xavier Naidoo
2. Pure Morning ~Placebo
3. Wo Driften Wir Hin~Xavier Naidoo
4. Wenn Du Es Willst (Mir Sind Die Hande Gebunden) ~Xavier Naidoo
5. Himmel Ueber Deutschland ~Xavier Naidoo
6. Bevor Du Gehst~Xavier Naidoo
7. HRSA ~Blue October
8. Comptine D'un Autre Ete: L'apres Midi ~Yann Tiersion
9. Such Great Heights ~The Postal Service
10. Goodnight Goodnight ~Hot Hot Heat
11. Abschied Nehmen ~Xavier Naidoo
12. Sing Alleluia ~Mac Powell & Jennifer Knapp
13. Massive Cure ~Smoosh
14. When it Rains ~Eli Young Band
15. Homos ~The Volunteers
16. Ich Lass Sie Sterben ~Xavier Naidoo
17. I'd Be Waiting ~Xavier Naidoo
18. Seksi ~Boni
19. Title and Registration ~Death Cab for Cutie
20. Somedays ~Regina Spektor
21. Wo Willst Du Hin? ~Xavier Naidoo
22. When the Night Feels My Song ~Bedouin Soundclash
23. Never is a Promise ~Fiona Apple
24. Keep Your Eyes on Me ~Xavier Naidoo
25. Surat Al-Fatiha ~Muhammad Khalil al-Husari

I'm not as prostelytizing as Elle is about iTunes. It's great, especially if you're on a network and i can listen to your music, but choose your music player as you like. besides, iTunes looks so much better on a Mac.

Grades!

2005-12-28T23:05:00.000-06:00

So, the semester was kinda bad, but it didn't ruin my gpa.

Method & Theory in Religious Studies: A. This was by far my most favorite class this semster. It challenged me in how i look at religion and how it works and what it's good for and how it does harm as well. I loved this class and it could have gone either way, the final was eh, and i worked hard on the paper, but i knew there was a chance my paper might not have gone over well because his wife is an ex-mormon, it was about the mormon mission and most of the research was based on a personal interview with a mormon friend.

Hinduism: B. this class was the bane of my existence this semester. It was a night class, from 7-1o every wedenesday night with an arogant professor. I'm glad it's over and i'm glad i didn't get a C. I didn't try very hard on anything except the final paper. and i don't know how to work hard on a paper, so I might not have, even on that. I also would like to see this one. Just to see if he had any comments.

logic: A. this was a 100 level class and was really super easy. and boring. and i could have gotten 20/45 on the final exam and still gotten an A. It was rediculus for a senior math major and i slept through it. But I guess I learned a little bit. so that's cool. Plus, no paper. Yay

Military Science 100: A Dude. I enjoyed this class. I signed up with a friend, it was a complete elective, didn't fullfil any requirment and i'm taking the second semester in the spring because i want to. it was really easy and i kinda like PT

History of Math I: B. Silly class. Any time you're leaving a 400 level math class and the professor says "at least you learned how to do algebra in base 60" that's a BAD sign. Generally worthless and i didn't try very hard in this one either. usually started the homework on wedesday night after Hinduism. Just a note: it's not good to do math after, say, 8 or 9 pm.

College Geometry: A. Silly class, skipped way more than i should have. bombed the final, but got A's on the other two tests. the professor was boring but incredibly nice.

So this was my best gpa semester here ever. Sweet.

cheese olmelet

2005-12-25T02:00:00.000-06:00

also, i have skills of a powerful-convincing-person. because i totally convinced my mom to make me a cheese omelet at 12 this morning.

however, i believe i was less successful in convincing her that i did, indeed get her stove top stuffing for christmas. sad times, sad times indeed.

merry christmas.

2005-12-25T01:39:00.000-06:00

*scene: pre-christmas, several years ago*
dana: dad, what do you want for christmas?
dad: you can't get me anything i want.

logical conclusion: deliberatly buy him stuff i know he doesn't want.

and this has generally been my christmas-shopping guideline ever since. don't spend too much money, and don't worry about finding the perfect gift. because if they want it, they'll buy it. and if you stress, you end up like other people in my family, who i love, but can't be.

here. now.

2005-12-16T15:34:00.000-06:00

i'm home. i'm not feeling too well. physically i'm fine. but i'm kinda all shaken up inside.

train tickets to new york arrived today.

finals week

2005-12-12T19:05:00.000-06:00

So, uh. three down, three to go. but only one real final left. I have a "paper" (2-3 pages) and a presentation for history of math tomorrow, a creative project to finish for Wednesday night and a Geometry final on Friday, which I may take on Thursday. We will see.
five months and one day until graduation.

not quite the hare krishnas...

2005-12-02T00:41:00.000-06:00

but i really do love fundamentalists. (read: We must listen to the fundamentalists)

"i'm feeling emotional"

2005-12-01T00:01:00.000-06:00

for realz. a former friend is in a crunch. We left on friendly terms. Even if we hadn't, I wouldn't wish this on her, ever. I hope she's okay.

I lost my math assignment (which i hadn't started) and i'm taking that to mean that I don't actually have to do it tonight, I'll just get it tomorrow and turn it in Friday (I'm a bad student, really)

I've been singing "Sing Alleluia" for probably three or four weeks just randomly and I haven't heard the song in maybe a year. So I dug it out and started listening to it again. And now... I think I'm getting sucked in. I don't know what to do. I think I'll just let it.

CAPS LOCK IS ON AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE MOVING MY PINKY THAT LITTLE BIT TO TAKE IT OFF.

2005-11-27T23:47:00.000-06:00

So, Thanksgiving was a bust. It was nice to see my sister and family and whatnot, but over all it was really boring. No internet, but it actually wasn't that bad. My mom only asked if I was depressed once. My dog is moving slowly. I checked my email at the library once. Yay for emails from Norway.

I need to order my train tickets to New York, because I still definatly want to do that. I should start seriously looking for jobs. Maybe I should look in Austin, TX. or New York or maybe Oregon...

I really need an idea for my Senior Seminar Thesis for next semester. Any ideas? I'm pretty sure I don't want to do anything regarding ISKCON. That would just not be cool.

On Tuesday I went with a friend to the mosque in a near/far town, and fell in love with it all over again. Even though there were some awkward moments, it was a lovely trip. However, I think along with the mosque, I've fallen in love with churches as well. If only I didn't have to drive home on Wednesday, I would have had a great time looking at the churches I passed. But alas, it is necessary to watch the road, not the buildings on the side of the road.

six months.

2005-11-18T00:46:00.000-06:00

I recieved an email from my senior sem professor next semester asking for our thesis title and a few sentences about what we are going to write about "as soon as possible" Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to write about. So, I'm kinda freaking out about that. However, I realized I graduate in (less that) six months. (less than by about five days or so) And that is both exciting and damned scary.

I am so excited about Thanksgivng break, getting away from this damned place, spending time with my family, who i'm really missing right now. COMMA ABUSE!!1!

mmm sleep

2005-11-14T12:26:00.000-06:00

I have been having crazy dreams.

A couple nights ago I dreamt that one of my friends from the Academy had to read this huge stack of books, and they were in German.

And last night I had this dream that my roommate & I were kicked out of our dorm, we had to live off campus, but most of our stuff was still in Grim. I came back to get a little bit of the stuff and talk to the Hall Director to see if we could move back in. The hall director's office was a bathroom and the chairs were all toilets and it was strange. But before I went back to the dorm, I went to the Math department, but they were closing at noon and were done for the day, so I couldn't talk to anyone there.

direction

2005-11-07T22:56:00.000-06:00

Maybe the title of this blog isn't the most accurate. I'm feeling much more like a scalar, rather than a unit vector. I don't have any direction. I wrote my resume today. But I don't really know what I'm doing.

I'm supposed to graduate in say, six months or so. But I don't know what I'm going to do after that. Which really wouldn't bother me, except society says that I should.

I got a call today, from the registrar's office that sent me into a fit of tears. "Hello, this is the registrar's office. According to the 2003 catalogue, you cannot graduate with both a BS and a BA. Please come to the Registrar's Office to Choose which degree you want so we can process your degree audit." Oh. Holy. Crap. I know it's possible to get a BA in Mathematics, but I don't want a BA in math. I did those science classes, I want that reflected in my degree title. So after consulting the correct catalogue, I know the Registrar is incorrect, they probably think I've applied for both a BA and a BS in Mathematics, which is not the case. However, it's frustrating to think that they've been processing these degree audits all semester and they haven't double checked that I'm NOT applying for two degrees with the same major. (curse words were laid down earlier this evening)

feeling woozy

2005-08-03T23:24:00.000-05:00

I had a really strange, vivid dream last night. I dreamt that I was pregnant. And I think I was in Morocco. But I'm not really sure. Just one of those weird feelings, and wondering how you're going to explain it to * ... and how you're going to get on with your life.
-----
*I didn't think of my parents first, but a specific friend.
-----
um, in other news: I'm going to Colorado this weekend! And I'm super-psyched.

u.s.

2005-07-24T20:52:00.000-05:00

I'm home. Or maybe I'm "home". Back in the states, sidthab ila bait walide on monday. God Damn, I miss/love Arabic/Morocco.

triliteral roots

2005-07-16T19:23:00.000-05:00

it became
and
morning
have the same root in arabic
saad - baa - haa
that's kinda cool

Saturday

2005-07-02T19:03:00.000-05:00

I got up early, not on purpose. Went for coffee and read some Anna Karenina. I like the translation I have. One of my friends here is reading a Russian book by a different author, same translators and said it was good. So that's cool. I sat outside in the shade, reading and doing vocab all day, but it was really nice. At dinner, I ended up speaking Russian with another guy here and we went off on a indo-european/semetic language discussion. It was very Grim-esque. I miss all of my grimmies.

It was a hot, beautiful day.

breakfast

2005-06-28T18:22:00.000-05:00

breakfast
Originally uploaded by danaisanevilchip.

Our Moroccan breakfast in Marrakesh. My orange juice -- fresh, amazing! Sarah's mint tea, and these crepe-like bread things, with a cream cheese inside. A-frikin-mazing

2005-06-27T16:58:00.000-05:00

Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes,
Lessons learned and gradually surfacing
Lletting go, striping naked to scream.
I am not perfect nor do I strive to be.
I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns.

So, maybe I fucked up a little this weekend. or a lot. I got my test back -- 84. I wanted higher, but the reading comprehension got me. I did really awesome on the rest of it though. At least relatively speaking, compared to Russian.

About the weekend. Too little sleep leads to one giant "Dana Bitch" really. And it's not an excuse. But I choose to be happy now. And I do believe this happiness to be a choice.

Narrative? Friday, A couple of friends had plane ticket problems, like the tickets were in Fez and the people were in Ifrane. So we went to Fez to get them. And in the process: halal McDonalds, People! Saturday, I slept late and my friends left before I got up. Jason, a group of new people, and I went down to Azrou. I bought an owl for one of my old people, and still owe Jason 40 dirham, I believe. Drank qahua WAY too late, was on a caffeine buzz and then test stress until about 7:30. got about three hours of sleep, was extremely rude to some friends, broke down emotionally and went to bed at 10. The current roommate came in at eleven and turned on the television. Thought I would kill her, but left the room instead, sat in the "auditorium" that's outdoors and faces the Mosque. Uhib al-jaamia'. i love the mosque.

this week i have:

2005-06-25T20:23:00.000-05:00

0) Called my parents for the first time since i was out of the country. It was good. I was really homesick all week. It was bad. But I think I'm getting better.
1) Went to Fez and ate at McDonald's again. We wanted Pizza Hut, but alas, there seems to be none in Fez.
2) Took my midterm, which was really bad. I hope it wasn't as bad as I think it might have been though.
3) Had to say goodbye to my best friend up here. She was here for just four weeks.
4) Began meeting some of the people here for the second four weeks.
5) Celebrated Laundry Day. I miss my US version of Laundry Day.
6) Called my sister. It was good to talk to her, even though I got cut off.
7) Went to Azrou again.

So it was a mundane week, with lots of stress & sadness. This is a nice weekend to just chill out and catch up on some sleep. And I think it's time to do that again.

out. ~dana.

2005-06-22T08:45:00.000-05:00

So, after a really horrible couple of days, I went running with a friend and was able to release quite a bit of frustration. Yet Arabic keeps adding more pressure. We have a HUGE ASS test on Friday that I'm really nervous about because I'm still really really bad with memorization. Which is kinda a huge part of learning any language.

The people that are here for just the first four weeks are leaving this weekend, which makes me sad because I have a couple of good friends in that group.

got it be all right...

antum jameelun

2005-06-20T13:08:00.000-05:00

you all are beautiful. and i need to speak more in class. but i don't have anything to say. i think i'm in the middle of "culture shock" or whatever. i'm quasi depressed and i really just think that everyone hates me. I mean, why would anyone want to talk to me i'm ugly and stupid. (and i truly believe that. )

i felt really really ignored for parts of this weekend.

in short: i hate you dearly but love me, love me, say that you love me.

2005-06-17T05:49:00.000-05:00

I'm beginning to think about what i can throw away before I leave here. Because if I buy stuff... yeah there's no way it'll all fit in my luggage.

Just got done with my third Arabic quiz. This one was really important. Lots of grammer stuff, broken and regular plurals, nisba adjectives, question words... I really hope I did well. The thing is, I think I did. And if it turns out that I didn't, well, i'll be crushed. I should have spent more time on plurals and less time on the other vocab, because there was no direct translation. Our first "test" midterm whatever is next friday. The syllabus is allowing us Four Hours. arba HOURS!

weekend desert trip

2005-06-13T18:19:00.000-05:00

So, this weekend we went down to Efroud, which is about six hours south of where I am now, and stayed in a really nice hotel there. I roomed with Arann which was fun. We were going to visit Abdella and Elias, but Abdella gave us bad instructions to his room, on purpose of course, and we ended up on the roof of the hotel. Down below us, you could hear the live band playing faintly from the pool. The city lay in front of us, with the Mosque jutting up in the sky line. As we are standing there, the athan starts. I couldn't think of a more perfect Maghrib experience.

Then the next day we traveled south for another hour and a half or so to the Saharah desert. As we are wandering around the sand dunes, a sandstorm falls upon us. Arann & I are slightly separated from the group, but find our way back to them. We all end up making it back safely to the camp, but it was a surreal experience. Amazing.

At the camp, I begin to realize how tired and hungry I am. Dinner was amazing. Not really for the food, because I didn't really eat much, but there was live music, my professor started dancing. And later they had belly dancers. After most of the people had cleared out, the Americans took over with the dancing. Moroccan music is great to dance to, especially when you're in a tent in the desert.

I stayed up too late and couldn't fall asleep when I did go to bed, but it was hella fun, and I was plenty awake at 4:30 for the camel ride into the desert to watch the sun rise. We sat on a high dune, I was next to one of our guides and we talked a bit in arabic, (greetings and nicities, because that's all I know) and then he told me we were about 50 kilometers from Algeria. Totally not telling my parents that one. The sunrise was less than spectacular because it was foggy, but it was lots of fun.

The bus ride back kinda sucked. And sometimes I hate people.

However, I moved in with a Moroccan student, and she is really nice. That's all.

VOCAB MEMORIZATION!!1!

2005-06-09T15:33:00.000-05:00

So, all of my friends are sick, but I generally feel fine. I have some stomach problems, but not like throwing up or diarrhea or anything... So I'm pretty lucky, I think. (knock on wood) I have a lot of vocab to learn for tomorrow. silly stuff. big, small, how are you? good, hellow. ect. good words to know, but frustrating because ... well, they're just difficult to learn, ya know?

We're going out to the desert this weekend. Last weekend we went to Volubilus which was really hot. And I took a picture of a stone penis. It was hott. or something.

I personally prefer Ain Saiss to Sidi Ali. But that's my personal preference. The fruit here still fucking rocks. Although I'm getting sick of chicken. I could go for a good cheeseburger. More for the cheese than the burger though. Serious cheese withdrawl.

slightly frustrated.

2005-06-06T09:37:00.000-05:00

mmm. fez medina: 350,000 people croweded into a 14x14 Km walled in area with 14 gates. It was absolutely amazing. even if we had too many people in our group. I don't understand some of the people here. I don't understand complaining. not right now. we're in FUCKING MOROCCO. why the hell are you complaining? maybe it's because i've been wanting to come here for over a year. maybe it's because i've wanted to learn arabic for four or so. but this is the most amazing place. sure, it's hot. sure, there were too many people on the trips for them to be completely wonderful, but we're in Morocco. Get over it.

Volubilus: absolutely amazing again. got a sight sunburn. don't really give a damn. I have now a picture of a penis carved into a rock from like the first century AD. morocco rawks.

talked to Jason all the way from Volubilus to Meknes about food we missed. Apparently I miss cheese. But today, today I ate cheese. and it was good.

another positive: I got my first quiz back from Friday. I kicked some Arabic Alphabet Ass. Some AAA, if you will. 96.5 % Arabic is looking up. espeically from Russian.

2005-06-03T13:22:00.000-05:00

i'm surrounded by beautiful people, and it's having a negative impact on my self-esteem.

reasons why this picture rocks.

2005-06-02T13:50:00.000-05:00

sign
Originally uploaded by danaisanevilchip.

(by josh-ooh!-ahh!)

but I think this is an awesome sign for several reasons.. and perfect for right now.
1) You took it in Morocco
2) It's in three awesome languages
3) I like JUST learned Charger and Decharger like a month ago
4) As senators, we get to tell people where they can park and give them a 30 minute timelimit when freshmen move in in August

my reason: i like the angle, and i can pick out a lot of the letters on the top half.

Moroccan View

2005-06-01T10:46:00.000-05:00

view along road
Originally uploaded by danaisanevilchip.

So, on the way to Azrou we stopped at a roadside stop. Ifrane is up in the mountains, and so there are mountains. It is beautiful, no?

tuesday.

2005-05-31T18:47:00.000-05:00

Today was the first real day of class and we already had homework due. Yesterday we wanted to go to Azrou to shop, but it was too late and we would not be albe to get back by seven thirty for the Welcome Dinner. (which, by the way, if you like moroccan food- was splendid. honestly, I think Moroccan food is okay. I haven't jumped on the "Everything is WONDERFUL" food bandwagon yet.) Anyway, we walked downtown to Ifrane to the Marshe instead, which was fun. But today six of us, including Abdilla, a Moroccan student went over to Azrou. It was really fun. Three guys, three girls and the taxi driver shoved into the taxi on the 20~ish minute trip.

Before we really left, the driver stopped to get petrol, took the key out of the car without turning the car off, got out and began putting gasoline inside of the car. That was the most scared I've been since being in Morocco. I was sure that the car was going to EXPLODE! not only because he was fueling the car while it was running, but also because there were FIRE EXTENIGUISHERS right next to the pumps. wtf?

On the way down, we stopped at a roadside stop where there were a few shops, a couple of monkeys and a splendid view. Yeah, you read that right. Monkeys. I saw monkeys. Not only that, one climbed in the taxi while we were out and then almost attacked me. Everyone seemed to go crazy-go-buy-stuff in Azrou. Everyone but me. However, I am pleased to announce that I now have Moroccan music! Actually, I think I bought Berber music. It's pretty good you guys. And Abdella said he'd give us Moroccan Pop. So, I'm pretty happy right now.

We know 13 of the 28 arabic letters... at least, i think i do. I have 3/4 of my first name. however, nun will probably be the second to last letter we cover.

I went running this morning. The first time out in Morocco, and on the track here at the university. I'm not quite sure if I was going the right direction. I mean, I thought I was going the "standard" direction, but then these two old guys were going the other way. But no one said anything, so whatever. I think I'll go tomorrow as well. and increase the milage.

My professors are really super nice. I wish that I could stop yawning through class, because I'm not bored at all, just sleepy I suppose. and five hours is a LONG time. even when they give us a "coffee break" Today I had Peach Juice. The first time I had the orange juice, I was blown away. Fresh squeezed oranges-- even if they weren't it might as well have been. and Moroccan oranges at that. which are 500 times better than american oranges.

moroccan cat

2005-05-30T08:43:00.000-05:00

moroccan cat
Originally uploaded by danaisanevilchip.

for my roommate: roommate amelia should be pleased to find out that the first picture i took in morocco was of a kitten outside my french doors in my room

tours

2005-05-29T10:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was an orientation day, we had one on rules for AUI and Ifrane and Morocco. general Do's and Don't's ya know. important but tedius stuff. Then the second was about Health and Safety. Yay for bidet? yeah... or something.

But we also had a tour of campus and Ifrane. I don't think I would trust myself to get the the marshe by myself, but it was good to walk around the town -- kinda. it would have been much better if I had had more appropriate shoes. and maybe a pocket for money. and pocket money. But campus is beautiful. I'll prove it with pictures sometime. and Ifrane is quaint.

and now it's time for a "forest walk"

on morocco time.

2005-05-27T01:34:00.000-05:00

it's six thirty am here and i just had the strangest dream. must be a product of sleeping 12 hours and completely missing nighttime for a couple of days. I mean, it was night yesterday, but I didn't see it at all.

So, the trip. I left home at 5:30 am to get to the St. Louis Airport for my flight at 12:17. My first time flying, at that. Needless to say, I was pretty nervous and didn't eat much. We got to the airport and all checked in and it was fine. So Mom & I are wandering the airport looking for food, and apparently it's "the great american bagel company" or "burger king" the former is closer and so we do that. But I don't really like bagels, so I still don't eat much.

And then going through checking my carry-on. So, I try to follow what everyone around me is doing, but my computer is burried at the bottom of my bag (hey, my parents haven't flown in years -- YEARS! and they don't know this stuff. So it takes me forever, but I think I'm able to let all the fast people go by me. So, St. Louis to Chicago. Small plane, everything in English-only and a Window seat. It's beautiful.

Chicago to Paris, Charles De Gaulle. I was way early for the check in, since I think our flight was (gasp!) early! Terminal 3 (where I landed) was freaking HUGE. But I'm like "where the hell do I go for Air France?" Which I nicely asked to someone and safely took the shuttle train to terminal 5. At which point I thouht "This is so frikin cool! I wish someone were with me, so i could tell them, but then it wouldn't be as cool because I wouldn't be doing this ALONE!" Anyway, I got to terminal 5 and had to wait for the Air France people to get there to check in. Met a cute guy going to Paris in line. We talked for a while. Checked in, got some Euros because I knew once I got there I'd need to move from Charles De Gaulle to Orly and I'd need some money for that. Ate my last American meal -- McDonnald's Chicken nuggets were really good. Fries kinda sucked. After I went through the baggage checking thing, I wasted time by walking around the place -- a couple duty-free shops is about it.

Waiting around in the lounge for the flight, there were lots of French people. A Tunisian woman with four kids (her and the oldest girl in Hijab -- I got to talk to her!) A Russian woman, or at least she spoke russian sat across from me and I was oh-so-tempted to say "zdravstvwijt'e, vwi iz Moskvwi?" but alas, I did not. But as she was sitting there, a very-russian couple came and sat next to her and talked, but the left and I didn't see them again, so maybe they were on the St. Petersburg flight. then there was a woman behind me, who from hearing her talk to another lady, was from Serbia. And I wanted to ask her what she was knitting , but again, I did not. silly dana.

And... THE FLIGHT! Huge airplane, Aisle seat. Got pissed at the guy in the window seat because he almost immediatly closed the window! urr. what's the point in window if you don't look out the window? stupid boy. the flight was rather uneventful. they fed us dinner and breakfast and we landed at like 2 or 3 am Chicago time. 9 France time. then I waited and waited and flipped and flipped about getting to Orly on time. Waiting for luggage sucks. Waiting for luggage, when your flight is already late and you have no idea how long getting accross Paris will take, Sucks. I'm assuming I didn't do anything wrong with customs (but then again, I didn't do anything with them).

At this point, I'm IN PARIS. And Needing to go to Orly. And I'm really, really glad I overpaid for those Euros in the states. Apparently the Air France bus to Orly is right outside the doors. Or rather, the stop for it is. And so I sit there for like 45 minutes (yeah every 15 min or half hour, HA! But The bus did show up, and I rode through Paris, which is a Beautiful city, on the whole. As we were flying over, it was amazing. I've never seen that many buildings that close together.

And Orly. It's no wonder US flights don't fly into Orly. Because it's kinda lacking on the security. The flight from Paris to Morocco was from Orly to Fez. I was so exhasted on this flight. They fed us, but I ate like 3 bites and cried. oh yeah. nothing was in english on it. Everything was in Arabic first, then French.

Then I got to the airport and i'm like "where is the person picking me up?!?!" staring around disorientedly. Finally a girl was like "are you dana?" Oh sweet joy of relief. and then waiting aorund for another hour or an hour and a half. by this time, it's 2:30pm which (i think) is 9:30am in St. Loius. I'm so out of it, my arms are begining to hurt from carrying around luggage, and I'm so relieved to be done with my part of the traveling.

Traveling from Fez to Ifrane takes another hour, of which I sleep through most. Again, I feel Kinda bad, because I do want to see the country. I'll see it later. Arrived, got my room, upacked took a (very, very cold) shower and went to sleep by 6:30. and got up by then too. And I think I should go try to find some kind of food now.

~out!

morocco

2005-05-26T13:41:00.000-05:00

oh. holy. crap. i'm in morocco. and i've been awake for WAY over 24 hours. well, you know... the cheating kind of "awake" unmoving napping awake, which might, but probably doesn't suck more than regular awake.
anyway, i'm out.

"You should be all set."

2005-05-24T15:34:00.000-05:00

yeah, buddy i should be. Big bag's packed. Carry on's waiting for the computer and last minute stuff. I leave the house in probably 14 hours. plane leaves in 22 or so. 7 hours to get to st. louis. plenty of time, plenty of time. time to totally chill in the airport.

check, check, check! TRAVELER'S CHECK! ha-ha-ha!

(now, to not think about the fact that i'm freaking my parents out)

*when it rains, i don't mind being lonely, i cry right along with the sky*

I love that it rained today, the day before I leave. So refreshing.

two days.

2005-05-23T22:23:00.000-05:00

(but it's kinda one)

"I can weep like the wind that crashed down on my tears."

So, so much shopping today. And it kinda sucked but most of it was totally necessary. Because you can't not shower for two months.

uh. Morocco's still there, and it's hot.

today i learned...

2005-05-23T00:55:00.000-05:00

Today I learned that:
1) America's going down the pooper and not even the Evangelicals are doing enough to save it.
b) You won't know if your loved ones aren't in heaven (aka :are in hell) because that would be a cause of suffering and there is no suffering in heaven.
and
iii) Non-Christians can be good people, but if you watch them close enough, they're going to slip up somewhere. Maybe their big mistake is that they have a beer in the evening with their wife. This means that they need Jesus right now because they obviously can't cope with life and are using alcohol as a substitute Jesus.

Oh, and about Morocco: I'm really looking forward to living in a country where wearing the same clothes for a couple of days in a row is socially acceptable. Really looking forward to that.

As an aside: how many days can you wear the same pair of pants (jean-type) I totally say three to four, but my mom's trying to tell me two. and that's bullshit. I can see if four is excessive, but three is totally acceptable. There are some exceptions if it's really hot or rainy/salty but as a general rule, how many days can you wear the same pair of pants?

three days

2005-05-22T22:26:00.000-05:00

Sunday.

sunday sunday sunday. I don't have everything packed, but I have things lined up. looks like I'm taking a hella-old and rather small checked suitcase and then a carry-on that's only a few "inches" smaller. I'm getting really excited. I'll leave home at around 5 am on Wednesday morning.

On a completely unrelated note, I've been playing too much snood.

I think church filled my head with too much talk of heaven and hell. Typical evangelical stuff, although I never really considered Nazarenes to be "evangelical" even though they most definitely are. Nice little Wesleyan-Holiness tradition. Good ol' John Wesley. At least he makes more sense than John Calvin, I suppose. Sure entire sanctification is weird, but at least he's not predestining people to hell.

Uh. this doesn't have much to do with Morocco. I think I explained my Moroccan fears before.

Pertaining to morocco, though. Do you know how hard it is to explain why you want to go to Morocco, an Islamic country, to learn Arabic, to all of your older (like at least 60+ years) church friends. One guy asked me "So, you gonna be a missionary?" -- he isn't one of my old people.

I think that's enough for now.

four days.

2005-05-21T22:12:00.000-05:00

Went looking for a cell phone today. That really didn't go over very well. Whatever. I guess I don't care again today. I think there are some things I need to get over this summer. I don't want to and therefore don't think I will. But, in the words of Bob,

everyting gonna be alright

I really don't know what to expect of my Moroccan roommate. I mentioned before I hope she's not a smoker. But I have no idea what to expect. And it makes me wonder what she expects of an american roommate. I hope I'm not a dissapointment, because I doubt I can be construed as a "typical american" I mean, I'm not too worried about us getting along, because I can stand anything for two months, right? But is she expecting a stupid American that knows no arabic? (because I got that down) Or will she expect a hardcore liberal or conservative? (ha.ha.ha.) or a drunk? (and we all know how much of a drunk i am)

I wonder how much of a practicing Muslim she will be? At all? strict? All Hijab-ified? How much enlish will we speak? Maybe that's what bothers me most. I'm on an english speaking campus, but how much English will I be expected/allowed/want to speak? I think that was part of my problems with Russian. I got so frustrated because (a. i didn't really care that much, but) I didn't have anyone to practice and speak with, except the people in my class. And honestly, I didn't like them much.

I hope that I am not a dissapointment. Because although I love my music, moodyness and americanism, I suppose not everyone does.

ev'ry ting gon be a'right.

running running and running running...

2005-05-20T22:56:00.000-05:00

Three miles, BABAY! well, if you want to be technical about what i actually ran... no. i don't want to be. Three miles! (and my ass is feeling it.)

Morocco: I'm compiling a list of things I know I need to take. I'm planning on laying it all out tonight to see what will fit where and if i need to buy a bag. And trying to find a cell phone that I can use in Morocco. And money. I need to figure this money thing out. I'm so bad with money. And not procrastinating.

If they don't eat cheese in Morocco, I might die. I suppose that's all.

five days.

2005-05-20T11:08:00.000-05:00

And sleeping in later. In the interest of counting down, I thought I'd share a song I hated in High School, but it counts down. Or maybe up. Yeah. Anyway:

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to one side and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together, come back and see me
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgien me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry
~Barenaked Ladies.

I suppose that's all.